Having started, then abandoned, two previous attempts at posting, I am bound and determined to return with a new missive, because it’s been a minute or two, AND peeps are starting to subscribe! (Wait, what? An actual Audience?! Holy Mother!) I’m coming off updating my Wetware blog and I always get a rush of energy when I’m composing the latest post there, so I’m thinking I’ll be able to take advantage of that momentum to break my silence here. Maybe consecutive posting wouldn’t be a bad idea…?
So. Anyway. The reason I’ve “been away” is that my brain has wanted to engage more with Realspace than with Cyberspace, when it’s wanted to engage at all. There’s the Perimenopause and the Long Covid, sure, but the heat has also been a factor - not as bad as it is in Phoenix or Las Vegas, praise Goddess, but low-to-mid 90s (30s if you’re doing the Celcius Shuffle) is nothing to sneeze at. Typically, I’m one of those weird people who love the Summer and its heat; I’m semi-joking when I say I’m part Jaguar. (Himself is part Polar Bear and we argue over the thermostat constantly.) This year, however, I’ve been a little less enthusiastic about Frolicking Outside and needing to Aestivate now and again to recover. (Google it.) Yes, the weather and climate are changing, but So. Am. I. and I need to admit this.
Two things: I’m north of fifty, as the earth orbits around the sun, and things aren’t necessarily going to be as easy to do as they were when I was 30, 20, 10 years younger. Along with that comes a realization that I’m becoming more (energetically) sensitive. That was really brought home to me when I finished my house and cat sitting retreat for my friend a couple of months ago: I went from five days of blissful silence (yes, again, I’m weird) to being super social, and I could not switch gears, not without grinding them horribly and nearly needing a new (neural) transmission!
Okay, I’m adding a third thing: I’m not the same person I was before the double whammy of Caregiving (for Himself AND for my mother) and Covid (namely Omicron Prime), perimenopause or no. In 2007 I travelled to Australia and back to the US By Myself, start to finish. Two months ago I had to psych myself up to walk two miles to the beach and back. My spirit had shrunk, battered by forces beyond my control. The good news - all of the little things I get accomplished help to regrow my spirit, one little victory at a time. Like posting this missive to let y’all know I’m still here, rocking my sundresses.
(I made it to the beach, btw. Viz:)
I’m taking this month to work on a fictional story that needed a loose end tied off. It’s taking a bit longer to complete than I expected, but I should be done this week. Next month it’s back to my nonfiction project and incorporating all of the notes that I jotted down while writing the first draft. Once more unto the breach…!